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Tea for Republicans

Alas, LTR wasn’t brought on as a “tea consultant,” for the Republic National Convention. Now that would be a good use of mega-million super-pac dollars. But in the public’s interest, here are some thoughts:
Since you’re in the deep South, home of ubiquitous and addictive sweet tea, most likely tea is not foreign to you. But in the interests of budget cutting, LTR suggests 86ing the sweet tea – if it’s available or free – for a more republican idea. Remember the story of Robert Dick? He’s the late tea czar who worked for the US Government and was responsible for sampling – and testing – teas for the US market. He also banned some quite legit teas –pu-erhs because he famously thought they tasted “musty.” Well, there must be a cache of these and other teas he banned in some warehouse somewhere. (The banned teas were supposed to have been destroyed, but we know about “efficiency” and  the US gov ) So why not find that warehouse and pull out those teas for convention consumption? So what if they have bugs in them or are a bit off after sitting around for a couple of decades?

People, there’s a budget crisis going on and there is no free lunch or free tea.

LTR can just hear the whinnies whining: what if they get sick? Well, that’s your own darn fault, isn’t it? Nobody is holding a tea cup to your lips, for goodness sakes. And don’t expect the Grand Old party to pay for your medical bills on this. No sirree. Just think of the granite state of New Hampshire’s motto: Live Free or Die.

Okay, so you want to go back to just tea.  For the folks craning their necks for a glimpse at that much touted warm wood “Frank Lloyd Wright-friendly set, a cool paper cup of tea might hit the old spot. But don’t go expecting fancy oolong or anything.

Good old teabag tea, as you may already know, can range from low to high quality. In a lot of cheapo brands, the tea in the bag might be what is known as tea “dust.” That’s literally the dust or fannings that are left over after the higher priced tea is processed. It’s cheap, easily available and usually made from black tea.  

 Any guesses what the poobahs of the GOP would drink? And what about the Tea Party?

Stay tuned.





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